Saturday, September 8, 2012


I visited my parents recently. My daughter traveled with me as she wanted to see the relatives, especially the grandparents, before beginning her studies in Wales.

This visit brought up the subject of mortality. You see, my mother has vascular dementia and disease. Progressing rapidly. Every day that she still knows us and her mind, is numbered. My father is also afflicted with the ravages of age. Minor strokes and broken bones make it hard to get around and to get certain words out without slurring or giving up on them completely. Then there is the forgetfulness. I think it breaks his heart not to be able to help his ailing wife.

It's hard to watch. Hard to think about. Hard to listen to them say they are a burden, or one doesn't want to be around without the other. This difficult, but eventual part of life...well, it just sucks. Not everyone will be this way, but aging is inevitable. We will all do it. Some of us more gracefully than others. It's really all in the genetics and, being adopted, I just don't know how things will go. I guess life is just a mystery that we have to live/work through.

And, bless my sister's heart! She has taken on our parents care and I so appreciate everything she does. I pray strength and patience for her every day. The task is not easy. I'm here to listen to her whenever she needs to vent, or needs someone to cry to, or just needs to share whatever outrageous behavior the parents exhibit. I love her more than she will ever know.

My sister and I, as well as a lot of our friends, have reached that age where the role of parent/child has been reversed. When my daughter and I left Texas to come back home to Colorado, it was with the knowledge that it might be the last time at least one of us would see them.

I'm grateful that my mother was not so confused that we didn't have a good visit. She doesn't remember what day my daughter leaves, or when she might come back for a visit, but she did see and know her while we were there. Mother still asks about everyone, although it's repeatedly as are the answers. Dad still cracks himself up at his well worn jokes.

It was a good visit. I hope there are more, but I'm prepared if there are not. Until that time, I will call each week and chat, talk to my sister and get updates, and tell them all that I love them as much as I can. ~RGC

Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.

  • Act I, scene 2, line 72. ~Hamlet

1 comment:

Lisa Fender said...

It is the hardest time of your life, but can be the blessed. Appreciate them still being here for now and devote as much time as you can to them. They are worth it! I miss my father so much and know I would give anything to see him one more day.